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Here’s a submission from “A” who works in the West Village.
GUEST: Hi, what’s your policy on pets in the hotel?
CONCIERGE: Well, sir, I’m happy to report that we allow dogs and cats, provided that-
GUEST: What about pigs?
CONCIERGE: (looks over desk. There is a black potbellied pig the size of a Labrador wearing a tie dye harness.)
CONCIERGE: I’m afraid not, sir.
GUEST, suddenly angry: They’re NOT allowed?
CONCIERGE: No, sir.
GUEST: This is 2014!!!!!!!!
It’s the “suddenly angry” that’s making me laugh.
You've inspired me to dive head first into metal. Any suggestions for a first time listener?
no specific recommendations but rather a mild maybe-try-this suggestion for how to approach music in a style you’re not already into: seek out the stuff that people say is good that sounds least like the stuff you already like, and from what you uncover using that formula, stick with the stuff that provokes or irritates you somewhat, instead of just following your natural pleasure-response that usually guides us musically. in this way, your musical vocabulary expands; you ask yourself “what is it the people who love this are liking here?” and when you get your head around it, you end up with a wider range: a better view. a lot of people go the other way; there’s plenty of metal around that reminds people of shoegaze bands, and they dug the shoegaze bands so they dig the metal that reminds them of that. that’s fine too, though I am reactionary about that, personally - all my best experiences in listening to metal have been when I’ve legitimately been able to say “this doesn’t remind me of anything at all and I’m not sure if I like it, it’s really weird and different,” eventually coming to understand the music on its own terms. I guess the most pronounced experience of this for me was getting into Celtic Frost way back when, because when they were new, they didn’t really have many points of comparison.
alternately you could just listen to some Ava Inferi, pretty astonishing guitar lines there
This is so well-said. Reminds me a lot of how people explained runway fashion to me - it looks weird, but you have to come to it on its own terms, and on its own terms it’s kind of genius.
My mom just informed me that my first word was “quote” so I’m going to make sure my last word before I die will be “unquote”
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